Filipino Siblings Fighting

Filipino Siblings Fighting

When I was a child, I often ask my self questions like; why is there favoritism in a family? Why filipino siblings fight to each other constantly? Why does rivalry exist to siblings?  Why kids fight to each other?

For me, next to our soul and our life – the relationship is the next most important thing in life. So I find it relevant to discuss serious issues about relationships. Like for example. If you’re the middle children, then statistically, you’re often ignored and become the usual referee in sibling fights. And most of the time, you’re the most emotional child who are soft spoken and just silently cries on a corner.

I should know, because I am the middle child too. Huhuhu…

It is only now, that I became a parent, did realized and understand why siblings fight each other, like why does sibling rivalry exists. Actually, there are a lot of issues in siblings fighting or rivalry. The most common one, it started with the parents. We, as parents, should not side anyone whenever there is a fight among siblings.

We usually say to the eldest “Don’t argue or fight with your younger brother/sister because you’re the eldest and should be the one to understand him/her.”

This will result to more grudges and feeling of injustice among siblings and when they realize that there is no sense of justice in the family, they will then take matters in their own hands.  That is why the start to fight.

Do not side anyone whenever siblings fight. Make it a rule that if two kids fight, they will both be punished. Encourage them to settle their problems peacefully. Make them communicate.

Communication is one of they key in solving siblings rivalry.

Another reason is competition for material things and attention. Especially with kids whose parents are not always around to talk to them, kids compete for their parent’s attention.

It’s in the Bible!
Two sons compete for God’s attention -Abel and Cain.

And sometimes they compete for material things (whenever parent made mistake of rewarding a child as motivation).

It is also in the Bible!
Two sons compete for their birthright – Esau and Jacob, sons of Isaac.

But when kids below seven years old fight, it’s NORMAL. Young kids fight like puppies. They need two hours a day of “fight” time.

So when my second (6 years old) and third (3 years old) child fights, I just “TIME” them. My husband would ask “why are they always fighting? These siblings are like cats and dogs!”

Most of the time, I’ll just answer to him: “It’s just normal… their 2 hours “fight time” is not over yet!”.

I wonder if filipino siblings fight more often compared with other cultures? Because I noticed that kids raised in US or Europe are less likely engaged in child fights or sibling fights.